Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
