i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
