puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
