chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
