Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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