I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
