I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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