She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
