But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
