she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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