Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
