Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
