The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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