Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
