I want to make a zoo with you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
