Who did Billy Mays play for?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
