No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
