So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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