DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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