tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
