Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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