she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
