Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
