after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
