Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
