I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
