i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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