R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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