naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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