Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
