Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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