I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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