Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
