I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
