he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
