im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
