No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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