just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
