dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
