do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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