we're chasing vodka with high fives
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
organizing the empties. That sober.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
