Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hippo gnu deer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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