They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
