So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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