i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
