My hand turned me down
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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