..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
