just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I love having hate sex.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
