how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
