Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it because I queefed?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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